You just blew a .28 on the Stupidalizer

Lowell Sun

LOWELL — Fifteen people were arrested for drunken driving at a sobriety checkpoint conducted by the Massachusetts State Police and Lowell police late Friday night into Saturday morning on Thorndike Street, and another five alleged drunken drivers were nabbed nearby.

State Police said the total of 20 arrests for operating under the influence in Lowell on Friday night were among 31 made across the state, as a separate sobriety checkpoint in Springfield led to 11 arrests.

What scares me more than 20 bundled drivers cruising through Lowell in just one night, is that there are twenty bundled drivers dumb enough to take Thorndike Street on their sloppy ride home. I mean, there’s only been a sobriety checkpoint there every night for the last decade.  Every bar in the city is tipped off.  There’s no logical reason beyond stupidity that anyone should get caught in this.  At this point, checkpoint officers shouldn’t be asking drivers if they have too many drinks in their system, they should be asking if they have too many chromosomes.


~ by Tobes on September 2, 2010.

3 Responses to “You just blew a .28 on the Stupidalizer”

  1. I give the cops credit for stopping ’em on Thorndike on weekend evenings, instead of in their usual spot along the connector like all the other times, so as to give the drivers fewer MPH’s to manage while trying to stop their cars.

    I also like that we’re successfully supplying fully 2 out of every 3 of the state’s drunken stupidity quotient. Lawrence has been trying recently, what with all the stupid fires and such, but they just can’t touch all the things there are to like about Lowell.

  2. Any drunk should know that there is usually a sobriety checkpoint on Thorndike Street on certain days. It’s been in the paper often enough. But then – mybe they are too busy drinking to read the paper.

  3. If you’ve had anything to drink there is never a reason to go on Thorndike or the Connector, take the side roads to Rte 3.

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