Reader Submission: Separated at birth?

•September 6, 2010 • Leave a Comment

We always love when our readers send us stuff…especially when its funny.

Got and funny tips, ideas, and other nonsense?  Send them along to mrmillcity@gmail.com.

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Think we could maybe refocus our traffic enforcement?

•September 6, 2010 • 1 Comment

Lowell Sun

LOWELL — A 19-year-old Lowell man died at the scene of an early-morning car accident on a dangerous stretch of Pawtucket Boulevard that also sent a young woman to the hospital with serious injuries.

Capt. William Taylor said police were called to the inbound lanes of Pawtucket Boulevard near Sampas Pavilion about 6 a.m., and found a car that had struck a telephone pole.

The 19-year-old Lowell man who was driving the car was pronounced dead at the scene, and an unidentified young woman who was a passenger suffered serious but non-life-threatening injuries.

The woman was taken to Lowell General Hospital, but her condition was not available last night.  Tony Mennella has lived across the boulevard, next to Heritage Ice Cream, for 18 years, and said this was the 13th accident and third fatal crash in that time.

“Something has got to be done,” he said. “It’s a sad thing.”

Just wanted to note that while Lowell Police are giving out pre-written tickets to people slow-rolling through stop signs during rush hour at the old Wamesit St rotary, we have yet another horrific accident on the Boulevard.  Then again, I suppose you can’t generate revenue from dead people.

Cuckoo…Cuckoo…Cuckoo…

•September 2, 2010 • 3 Comments

Lowell s Shawn Queen displays the Dexter doll she purchased at Toys R Us in Nashua this week. Sun/Bob Whitaker

Lowell Sun

LOWELL — The words hit Shawn Queen like a knife in the gut — a serial killer action figure.

Queen was dozing in front of the television last week in her Lowell apartment when the evening news ran a story about an Ohio man who objected to Toys ‘R’ Us selling the “Dexter” action figure modeled after a television show about a serial killer who kills other murderers.

“I couldn’t believe what I was hearing,” the 49-year-old mother of three grown children said.

“A serial killer doll at Toys ‘R’ Us? Why in this day and age would we want to expose children to this?”

So Shawn Queen’s going after Dexter dolls eh? I can only assume that the guy’s that make Freddy Krueger knife hands, and Jason masks have better legal teams right?

You just blew a .28 on the Stupidalizer

•September 2, 2010 • 3 Comments

Lowell Sun

LOWELL — Fifteen people were arrested for drunken driving at a sobriety checkpoint conducted by the Massachusetts State Police and Lowell police late Friday night into Saturday morning on Thorndike Street, and another five alleged drunken drivers were nabbed nearby.

State Police said the total of 20 arrests for operating under the influence in Lowell on Friday night were among 31 made across the state, as a separate sobriety checkpoint in Springfield led to 11 arrests.

What scares me more than 20 bundled drivers cruising through Lowell in just one night, is that there are twenty bundled drivers dumb enough to take Thorndike Street on their sloppy ride home. I mean, there’s only been a sobriety checkpoint there every night for the last decade.  Every bar in the city is tipped off.  There’s no logical reason beyond stupidity that anyone should get caught in this.  At this point, checkpoint officers shouldn’t be asking drivers if they have too many drinks in their system, they should be asking if they have too many chromosomes.

For those about to Rock!

•September 1, 2010 • 2 Comments

Lowell Sun

BOSTON — Sources have confirmed to The Sun that GOP Congressional candidate Jon Golnik was arrested in 2001 while allegedly driving under the influence of alcohol and drugs.

Golnik, a resident of Carlisle, was pulled over in Arlington while attempting to drive home on a flat tire from an AC/DC concert at the FleetCenter in Boston.

He registered a blood-alcohol level of more than twice the legal limit in a test administered at the police station

I’m pretty sure it’s universally understood that everyone who attends an ACDC show ultimately drives home shitfaced, on drugs, and on one tire.   What? Just because Jon Golnik was going to run for Congress someday, he has to play by the rules? 

Please, this is the best thing that ever happened to him.  Before this, I didn’t know anybody who was running against Niki Tsongas.  Now I know that I have options…and by options, I mean a Back in Black freak with a “don’t quit” attitude.  Sure, I suppose there are a lot of you out there that might frown upon this type of behavior, but you’re just a bunch pussies that couldn’t hang with Jon Golnik anyway.

I’ve heard all I need to hear. Fiiiiyaaahhhh!!!

Take a bow Arthur Bubanas…

•August 31, 2010 • 3 Comments

Lowell Sun Arrest Log

— Arthur Bubanas, 54, 45 Burtt St.; driving under the influence of alcohol (fifth offense), marked-lanes violation, driving an uninsured motor vehicle, driving after license revocation, unlawful possession of ammunition, unlawful possession of a firearm, possession of a large-capacity firearm, possession of a firearm with a defaced serial number, carrying a firearm under the influence of alcohol.

Diabolical.

Is Chris Doherty Serious?

•August 31, 2010 • 13 Comments

Chris Doherty meets Sparks Street resident Elaine Sweeney in Lowell Saturday. His campaign has attacked Eileen Donoghue's record as a city councilor. SUN / JULIA MALAKIE

This guy’s running for office? Really?  Bro, at least try to look the part.  Someone get this guy a suit and a gym membership stat.

PS. If you’re going to mug for some photo’s, how about standing on the same level as the the person in the picture so Elaine Sweeney doesn’t look like an amazon women.  Who’s running this campaign?