Celebrate Gorgeous Grandma Day

You know what today is, don’t you? Well, yes, it’s Friday. And yes it’s trash day in Pawtucketville. But all that pales in comparison to the real nugget of information I’m about to pass along:

Today is Gorgeous Grandma Day.

C’mon, we all know a hot, wrinkled babe who reeks of urine and Charlie perfume. MILFs have long been in demand, but the GILF market remains largely untapped. Hang around the corner of Middle and Central streets and your bound to see an afternoon’s worth of eye candy — at least until Family Feud comes on at 3 p.m. (An aside here: Boy, I really miss seeing a well-oiled Richard Dawson stumbling around the Feud set trying to stick his tongue down the throats of horrified women.)

Added bonus: since Gorgeous Grandma Day falls on a Friday, it’s a great time to hook up with a lovely lady and not have to worry about getting up for work in the morning. Sure her dating history might go back to the Great Depression and you run the risk of cutting in on Bingo Night, but you know they’re lookin’ for love.

And gone are the days when your hunny complains about you falling asleep after sex instead of snuggling. Hell, Granny’s gonna want to take a nap too! She might even bake you a pie afterward!